Do Not Disturb

Four months and fifteen days. Accidentally , that’s exactly how long my phone was on ‘Do not disturb.’ 

Looking back, it appears I stumbled upon this setting. My initial intent had been to block out all distractions during my Bible reading time; and this option saw to the fulfillment of this desire. However, a note in-between the lines that I had not internalized, was the need for me to manually switch off the setting upon completion of my devotional time. As mentioned before, this setting was not a conscious decision, and so for a good third of the year, my phone never rang when a call came in. Initially, I assumed my phone was on silent or my volume was low, but having attempted solutions to the presumed diagnosis, no fruitful outcome was birthed from it. 

At one point, I assumed a prior fall had affected it’s capability to receive calls, but for some odd reason, I could still receive calls over WhatsApp. How interesting is it that even in our ‘stagnation, ‘our inner man sends signs and symptoms of our agility. There’s always something to  remind us that we can still move. The skipping of our heart beats when we pass through that which sets our soul on fire;  or the teardrop that falls when we converse on once cherished memories. My WhatsApp ringer did just that for me; reminding me that my phone wasn’t void of use.

What had become a default setting resulted in numerous back and forth conversations with loved ones over my unavailability, and almost cost me my Millennium Fellowship opportunity when I was called for an in person meeting at the organization I was volunteering at. A call would literally come in with my phone in my pocket and it wouldn’t do as little as vibrate; leading me to accept my fate as the girl with the phone that didn’t ring. I stood ten toes in defense of the fact that I wasn’t ignoring people when I didn’t answer their calls; a note on how we can innocently be responsible for the blockades that stand in the way of people reaching out to us.

I know some may criticize the fact that I never realized this setting was on for so long; but it’d be interesting to note that a number of people also checked, but could not pinpoint the issue. It’s almost as though it deceitfully lurked beneath the covers; awaiting my further initiative for its unraveling. Debatable as it may be, if procrastination was ever advantageous then perhaps it was in this case as stalling to seek a professional's help ultimately resulted in me saving money. While there is a possibility that he may have identified this issue, there is also the likelihood that he would have jumped the gun and went straight to disassembling the phone as he had prior knowledge of its fall and subsequent issues that were birthed. After all, human beings have a tendency of diagnosing on the basis of their prior knowledge of your weaknesses; a strategy that isn’t entirely faulty but not sweepingly accurate either.

It was only after a ‘last straw’ questioning from my family that I rechecked my settings; this time typing in the exact issue I had, ‘phone ringing.’ I wasn’t expecting much and so I felt there would be no harm in laying it plain. Just then, the ‘do not disturb’ option popped up as highlighted, and I couldn’t believe my eyes. A seemingly simple deactivation led to the restoration of my phone’s seamless operation; bringing to mind the words of 1 Corinthians 1 vs 27 which reads, "Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful.”

Sometimes, your diagnosis requires you to just lay the facts plain. ~ Pretty Conscience

On the hill of celebrating this victory, my mind felt drenched with greater revelation on how we can become captives of the very things that were initially meant to serve us. While the setting was appropriate for the cultivation of a conducive studying space, nurturing my spiritual life, it became detrimental to my communication and the wellbeing of multiple relationships. The same can be said for the coping mechanisms we develop in a bid to protect our hearts or avoid backsliding into the very places that almost destroyed us. In as much as the intent is justified, how often do we assess the cost of implementation? To what end are we willing to establish blockades in fear of exposure?

Now, don’t get me wrong; boundaries are essential. Proverbs 4:23 encourages us to guard our hearts as it is the wellspring of our lives; but the question comes on what we’re establishing as our border. A white picket fence, an electric gate and a stone wall can all express the concept of perimeters; however, they all do so in different ways. A white picket fence is present enough to indicate dividing lines and allows clear vision to both the owner and observer; but it can be easily jumped over, which can work against the land owner.  With an electric gate, the length is much higher, blocking ease of entry and providing a greater sense of security by releasing a shock if anyone tries to unlawfully enter. Relative to whether it is a louvered or a closed-board gate, one may or may not have access to sightings internal or external to the gate. The stone wall on the other hand, doesn’t allow for insight on either side, but is advantageous in not allowing ease of access.

In conversations on boundaries, a common thread is on how we tend to have ‘ too little’  or ‘too weak’ expressions of it; but might we take a minute to ponder on areas of our lives where we have possibly done too much. I acknowledge and understand that prevention is better than trying to implement a cure, but we ought to be as intentional about assessing the need at hand. After all, our coping mechanisms ought to be instruments of mobility not nests for stagnation.

So, Progressive Heart, relative to the season you’re in, where have you been too rigid to the point of holding self hostage; and where have you been too relaxed to the extent of running yourself across the mud? 

The intention is for harmony to exist. For, we don’t play all the instruments of the orchestra at once, nor at the same frequency, or for the same amount of time; but even in the differences, a beautiful melody is created and that is what I desire for you and I.

From her progressive heart to yours,

Pretty Conscience 🦋