In the genesis of the Work In Progress blog, posts titled “When all you have are pieces” and “The nature and cure of the scar,” were penned with the intention of setting the tone for a narrative that spoke to how every physical act, bears a psychological and emotional weight, as well as how at the beginning of the process, creating harmony between these several aspects may be harder, making it important for one to be cognizant and expressive of these feelings.
As we become more confident in our journey of “becoming,” we reach a stage where we have seen the cycle of confusion, clarity, strategy, implementation, set back and come back, play itself multiple times, so much so that when we reach a certain stage in this circuit, we subconsciously rush past it or refuse to acknowledge it because we know it won’t last forever and we do not want to appear as if we are those of little faith. Now, while this is all fair and well, for some scenarios that is, it carries a threat of taking away from the satisfaction that the result was meant to give.
We read and conversate quite a bit about the importance of being “present in the moment,” but it appears that this “expression” is exclusive of the moments that hold agony. John 11 vs 35, a scripture recorded as one of the shortest in the Word of God, and famous, to a degree for that very reason, holds a truth that speaks to the power that is present in our avowal of pain and how this open admission sets us up to be empowered in taking the necessary course of action, stronger. It reads, “Jesus wept.”
The context of these two potent words is set around how Jesus, having been called during his friend, Lazarus’ sickness, does not immediately go but rather arrives four days after Lazarus’ death. In preceding scriptures, Jesus is met by Martha, the deceased’s sister, outside the village, and she does not hide her anguish but is rather frank in her emotions, for she says, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would have not died.” (Luke 10 vs 21). According to this statement, it is technically Jesus’ fault that Lazarus is dead because He was and is a healer, but He chose to wait the miracle out. Like Him, we have found ourselves in situations where we were blamed or better yet, blamed ourselves for not having done what we could, when we could. We probably waited it out too because we were certain that we would get an opportunity to right that wrong, but, we have now found ourselves at a place where we cannot even enter a space without having someone or something point out our “delay” and how it has caused tragedy.
This statement was not said once but twice, and by two different people, further validating it. Mary, another one of Lazarus’ sisters, went to where Jesus was, in the 32nd verse of John 10 and she too said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would have not died.” Sometimes you are reminded more than once of that which hurts you too or afflicted with the same hurdle multiple times on the same journey. Acknowledge the emotion and let it be met with a release before proceeding with the flow of events. Jesus asked to be taken to the scene where the tangible proof of this anguish lay and upon arrival He wept. His release of emotion came before His release of the resurrection miracle.
This stands as such a powerful act because His tears were neither a sign of spiritual weakness nor doubt at what God was capable of doing through Him. “God is good, all the time,” is a popular motto among Christians, but, for some reason, we have become of the belief that our emotional honesty is contradictory to this remark. We feel as though our acceptance of the effects of pain on us, make us less of Believers in God’s power. Our vulnerability is now translated to unbelief. Well, I beg to differ, because when we say, God is good, we are speaking to His goodness even in the midst of our heartache. When we are candid about the state of our souls, we are not taking away from His sovereignty and ability to flip the script.
I view Jesus’ weeping as a pure display of the humanity that existed together with his divinity. The scriptures say that He was deeply moved and I understand that there may exist several interpretations as to why He was, but I’d like to believe that He was deeply moved because He cared. Jesus loved Lazarus and in His love for him and his sisters, He didn’t want this sorrow for them. He knew that God had a greater plan in allowing this, but in the moment of arriving at Lazarus’ tomb, he joined in the emotion of the mourners. Yes, God has plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future, that is all true, but it doesn’t take away from the grief that your heart may feel. Psalms 30 vs 5 says that “Weeping may last for a night but joy comes in the morning,” meaning that it is okay for there to be weeping before you rejoice.
Your weeping may be literal tears alone or it may have you bawling in the arms of a friend or family member. For others, it may happen while seated on a couch at the therapist’ office or at a mentor’s house. Point is, the release needs to happen. When we release our emotion, we are offloading a burden from our souls, and this makes room for power to be infused within us.
Our emotions occupy a huge space in our hearts and minds and so when we lay them down, we are creating space to be empowered and empowerment often comes through clarity. You see things differently when you are no-longer heavy laden.
Releasing emotion is also an act of surrender. God can not fix what you are hiding or pretending to be unperturbed about. He sent his son Jesus Christ to live long enough on this earth for Him to understand the pain of betrayal, disappointment, “seeming lack,” manipulation, false accusations… You name it, He felt it.
Release breaks us from the bondage of societal expectations that are not in alignment with God’s will over our lives. Jesus was a man and yet the Word of God says that He wept. Under the standards of masculinity, this was a total turn-off, but, under God’s standards, this was how it was meant to be.
So, when Jesus eventually raised Lazarus from the dead in John 11 vs 44, the miracle came on full circle.
Before John 11 vs 44, there was verse 35.
Don’t try rush past the emotions that each step of the miracle comes with.
I am not advocating for wallowing in emotions, but I am championing “being present in every moment.”
If Jesus had not wept as He did, then He may have been accused of being inhumane or orchestrating this whole ideal to manipulate those present. After all, if you know how the story ends, you tend to not share in the sentiments of those who are unaware. However, in this case, He knew how the story would end but still had His moment.
You too know how the narrative of your dilemma will go but don’t let it steal from the beauty, strength and worth that comes with every step of the journey.
Her Progressing heart
~Pretty Conscience
Writer’s note: The play on image background colours is to show the differences in the way our “releases” may look.