It's one thing to restart when you have acknowledged that the old order of operation carried the pretence of effectiveness but was actually highly faulty. It's another thing to start again when you outgrow a season or life gives you no option but to do so. Outgrowing a season doesn't initially feel empowering and so embracing it may not naturally feel like the right thing to do. There is a sense of overwhelm at potentially having lived inauthentically in the previous season, which scares us into a place of shame and causes us to doubt our voice. Was I living a lie all this time and do I even have what it takes to make this new chapter work?; may be some of the questions you find yourself roasting your mind over. While valid, if we do not bring these doubts under the authority of truth, we may spiral.
As I navigate the transition from who I was, to who I am becoming; what I knew, to what I need to know now and how I saw myself to how I need to view my passions and capabilities now; I find insight, encouragement and consolation from my home girl, Ruth the Moabite. We could say that Sis had her life figured out in Moab as she was married, lived successfully with her in-laws and probably had a comfortable life as Ruth 1 tells us that Moab has been a place of refuge for her family after famine had struck Bethlehem in Judah. When life showed her the first flame through the death of her father in-law, she had to adjust but it probably wasn't as bad because she still had her life partner. Well, as if that wasn't already enough, death robbed her of not only her brother-in-law but her husband too. So basically, after having found rest from the streets of "mjolo" which have been described as ruthless and demanding of a heart in pristine condition; Ruth's script informs us that it all came crumbling down. Life forced her to start again.
Sympathetic to her grief, Ruth's mother-in-law, Naomi, suggested that Ruth and Opah, her sister-in law, go back to their maiden homes. While it was a more appealing way to start her life over, Ruth refused this offer and chose to start again on her own terms by sticking with Naomi. We must acknowledge that in this age, women had no economic power and so Ruth was basically riding with a car that had no wheels but she did it anyway. It was bold of her and part of me believes that it was an act of obedience to God because in Ruth 1 vs 16, Ruth says to Naomi they will honour the same Lord together.
While we may view her decision as loyalty to the past or the dead, it is also important for us to recognize that her commitment meant that she had to redevelop an understanding of her identity because she was now a widowed daughter in-law who had her mother-in-law as her ride or die. A read into the four chapters of the powerful story of Ruth reveals to us that she also had to change career paths from probably being a housewife to temporarily working in Boaz's field picking on the grain left by his permanent workers. She went from having the company of her sister-in-law Orpah to having her mother-in-law play wingman for her with Boaz; talk about a change in family dynamics. Don't get me started on how she had to sort of shoot her shot with Boaz (debatable), by making her availability and intentions clearly known, which must have been a shift from how she knew the course of romantic dynamics to go. Sis probably had to change her wardrobe too because the weather might have been different, her diet might have changed and she may have been forced to learn a new language. At this point, she must have been wondering if life wanted her to change her name too. So much for having a name that means compassionate friend; her compassion was being stretched.
While life was acting like a child towards Sis; demanding; the good thing about it though was that it became a seesaw as it pertained to the initiator of change. In as much as she was plunged into change, I'd like to believe that Ruth chose to change in a manner that was most authentic to her while still meeting the needs of the season. For instance, getting a job was key but she still needed to ensure her safety and so she operated with care in this new space.
As such, by going through the book of Ruth, our sister drops some gems on restarting which may be just what we need as progressive hearts:
Restarting does not mean you previously did wrong in that area of your life. It does mean though that the current season of your life requires revaluation on how you show up. So, dear progressive heart, stop shaming yourself for requiring change because shame often holds us in shackles.
Ruth wasn't wrong for having gotten married to Naomi's late son or devoted her life to that family. At that time, that is what was right for her. However, she has to restart in a way that mirrored her loyalty to the lessons learnt from the past and her commitment to see herself thrive in her future. Paradoxical.
Restarting requires humility and obedience, which in this case would be operating in the understanding that going back to the drawing board is a win and not a loss because we still have a board to go to.
Ruth didn't consider herself superior to others because she and her mother-in-law knew Boaz. She used that favour for security as she worked her way from the bottom up.
Restarting requires boldness, which is the courage to pursue even when you don't know or have all the answers.
Ruth barely knew her way around the streets of their new neighbourhood but that didn't stop her from getting that job or speaking to new people. She still put her best foot forward, with discernment of course.
Restarting requires you to see the same things differently. Same source, different supply.
Ruth had to shift from seeing Naomi as purely her mother-in-law and accept her help as a matchmaker and confidant.
Restarting does not mean that you are completely detaching from who you were and how you did things but it does mean that you're renovating. You may still see parts of your former self in the new season. It may be similar but it won't be the same.
It is Ruth's reputation as faithful to her mother-in-law that preceded her arrival in Boaz's field. To unlock all that her future had for her, she had to remain faithful but express it differently.
And so progressive heart, allow yourself the honour of uncovering, discovering and recovering yourself. The book of Ruth is a four chapter narrative which for most people is nowhere near half their module content. As such, I would encourage you to intentionally set aside time to dissect the script yourself and internalise lessons on restarting you may discover. You're always welcome to share as well with other progressive hearts as we highlight and embrace the beauty, worth and strength in "Becoming."
Her transitioning Grace,
Pretty Conscience